Archive for April, 2009

talking bird

“Talking Bird”    death cab cutie

Oh, my talking bird
Though you know so few words
They’re on infinite repeat
Like your brain can’t keep up with your beak

You’re kept in an open cage so you’re free to leave or stay
Sometimes you get confused
Like there’s a hint that I’m trying to give you

The longer you think the less you know what to do

It’s hard to see your way out
When you live in a house in a house
‘Cause you don’t realize
That the windows were open the whole time

Oh, my talking bird
Though your feathers are tattered and furled
I’ll love you all your days
‘Till the breathe leaves your delicate frame

It’s all here for you as long as you choose to stay…
It’s all here for you as long as you don’t fly away… 

                     only those who listen hear my song   jrn

DOUBLESPEAK

Before dinner:

“i love you…..you are so beautiful!  i just want to start over…..forget the past.  i want to cherish you….grow old with you”.

Steak served:

“Just don’t break my heart……  And trust me…i never cheated on you….she ment nothing to me.  I know what i have with you is good….your a good woman

After Dinner:

……………shut the fuck up…………..and im fucking you tonight…………..im NOT leaving………….im not making it easy for you……why should i……..i will drag out everything if you leave

In the morning:

I’m sorry…….i dont want to fight……im finished fighting with you………i want to start over forget the past

DOUBLESPEAK:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          evasive, ambiguous language that is intended to deceive or confuse.

joy

Wise Woman

“The mark of a Christian…they will walk the second mile and turn the other cheek…a wise woman gives the extra effort.”  John Maxwell

How i long to be this person (woman) again.        jrn

imprisoned

We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.  Rick Warren

He keeps asking me to forgive and forget the past.  He pleads that he wants the “old” me back.  I keep reminding him that hurts have shaped and formed who i have become…….cold, dark, and hard!  I feel that i am a product of OUR past. This is my greatest argument for wanting to walking away and refusing to let down the wall.  Besides the “old” me was naive….blind…..soft….ignorant….and weak!!!!  I REFUSE TO RETURN to be a nothing mousy housewife.  I know ive become bitter…….and i know the above quote is actually a call to FORGIVE!  He promises this is the last time…..  WHY did he wait until i jumped off the cliff?  All the nights i pleaded for change.  All the tears that i cried to him.  All the years i stood by and FORGAVE hurts.  All the prayers….All the hope…..All the love….ITS TOO LATE                                                                                                          im imprisoned

JRN

in⋅fi⋅del⋅i⋅ty

in⋅fi⋅del⋅i⋅ty 

1. marital disloyalty; adultery.
2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith.
4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression.

No words from my mouth…..just thoughts from my mind…..and tears from my heart. JRN

Second DAD

 Never underestimate a man who overestimates himself.  F.D.R.

Dad sent me a letter titled “PERSISTENT”  and in it was this quote by FDR.  My initial thought was “isn’t that a bit prideful?”  But when i continued reading the  letter……i realized that Dad was being inspired…..moved by his vision….to make something happen in his life.  MY DAD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!  He inspires me unlike no-one!!!!!  The core of who i am…. i give credit to this amazing man.  I thank God for placing him in my life…….he is not my biological father…yet we are tied at the heart.  I call him my “Second Dad”…although he deserves first place.  

And as old as i am he still signs every letter “love ya bunches little girl”.   

JRN

Reason…Season….Lifetime

A Friend Shared this with me today….He asked me to label him as one……I guess im a little confused, and scared at the meaning behind it all.  Nonetheless i was moved by its contents….      

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Follow your heart??

Today i read something that i can’t shake………..

“The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is.  The Bible says that, “the heart is more deceitful than all else” Jer. 17:9   THE HEART WILL ALWAYS PURSUE THAT WHICH FEELS RIGHT AT THE MOMENT.  GOD DOES THIS MAKE SENSE!!!!!!

I’ve always posed the question…..”Follow your heart or your head?”  For the first time in my life i’ve been challenged TO FOLLOW NEITHER!!!!!!  Not to follow, but to LEAD…..

JOY

Mr E

Mr. Albert Einstein………

“It’s NOT that I’m so smart….its just that i STAY with problems longer!”

OK….so i know that Mr. E probably was quoting from a scientific viewpoint…….but he WAS human RIGHT????  So i’m sure this quote could be applied to EVERY aspect of his life (and mine).

 I’ve been told that i walk away to EASILY from my problems, rather than sticking with them and figuring out a resolve.  REFLECTING……REFLECTING…..REFLECTING……I’m trying to honestly answer that accusation.  YES….i do walk……but usually  my mind reasons that “some problems”  are NOT worthy of pouring my time energy and emotions into.  I have learned to be choosy because i have a tendency to “over think”……thus……i MUST WALK AWAY IN ORDER TO STAY SANE  

Mr. E’s definition of INSANITY:  DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS

THANK YOU VERY MUCH

J-R -N