DRAINED
EMOTIONALLY…..PHYSICALLY……MENTALLY………….
a good cup of coffee, laptop, journal, zune @the cafe
an ice cold slurpee, laptop, journal, zune @ the park
my mind is so whipped that i cant even decide where to go and SHUT DOWN….both are my “safe haven”. The spot were i can breathe…..let go…..be ALONE.
JOY ROSE
THE FOUNDATION OF MARRIAGE (my definition..that is)
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Respect
How can i build (work) on something where the FOUNDATION has been shaken? He keeps trying to convince me that our “house” is fixable.
Why do i feel like there is a “CONDEMNED” sign dangling from our front door? Oh God here i go……….
little pig built her house out of straw
was blind to the danger that everyone else saw
worked so diligently to build her dream
lived a happy life…..or so it seemed
wolf was univited and asked not to stay
that fueled his anger so he blew it all away
little pig…little pig….let me in
NOT BY THE HAIR OF MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN!!!!!!!! jrn
A FRIEND LOVETH AT ALL TIMES - PROVERBS 17:17
I have found who my real friends are lately. You’d think an old lady like me would be a little more choosy or wise in the company she keeps. And yet i have this passion (maybe flaw) for people. Im easily attached to EVERYONE i spend a little time with. I cant help but love and respect them….regardless of differences…..regardless of race…..regardless of social class. The problem is….most people don’t share my passion. I try not to get to bent out of shape about it anymore…….because i realize we are all created different……we all have different passions.
The blessing in disguise is that i have stumbled upon some “forever friends”. The flip side is that they are few and rare. In fact the “others” really shouldn’t be classified as “friends” but “acquaintances”. Forever friends are just THERE all the time…..NO MATTER WHAT!!! They walk the mile with you…..they never leave your side……NO MATTER THE COST!!! Hell…they even CROSS THE LINE WITH YOU. They are the only ones i allow close to my heart……..
Tonight i THANK YOU GOD…for blessing me with the most amazing friends……i feel very fortunate to have them and you in my life!!!!!! JrN
three things i hate
1. liars
2. hypocrisy
3. those who cannot keep their word
two phrases i hate
1. “why me”
2. ”i can’t”
one word i hate
1. hate
JOY ROSE NELSON
i got home from work around 1100. Justine was sitting on the couch, in the dark. I sat next to her and asked her if everything was ok. She immediately began to cry. She told me she didn’t want to talk in the house because “he” was there. I asked her if she wanted to go for a drive and get a hot chocolate. She couldn’t even sit next to me in the front seat. I braced myself for the worst!! AHHHH the miracle powers of hot chocolate…….she spilled her guts………..she got suspended from school, and didn’t know how to tell me. Again i braced myself for the worst……. I assured her that there was NOTHING that she could ever do wrong that would change my love for her……..”its horrible ….mom”. “Someone DARED me to “pants” our trumpet player as he was performing….i swear i didn’t mean to pull his boxers too!!!!” It took every bit of self-control not to bust out laughing!!!! i kept it in……knowing that boy was probably soooo humiliated! I told her that there was ALWAYS a price to pay for rash decisions…..and that her punishment had to hurt…or she more than likely wouldn’t learn a lesson. She told me she had already wrote a letter of apology to him and her band teacher. HMMMMM…….how do you punish somethinglike that? Before i could collect my thoughts for her sentencing……she busted out “thats not all!”. Oh God…. i felt like a bomb was getting ready to drop. ” I want you to leave dad….for good…..you guys shouldn’t be together…..i hate the things he says to you……i hate the things he does to you……. i hate him but i love him……i want to leave our house…………….you promised something would change……..im unhappy ALL THE TIME!!!”
DO I SERIOUSLY HAVE A HEART ANYMORE?????????????? GOD i can stand my heartbreak NOT THEIRS!!!!!!
She told me that she heard him sat., tell me “I want to punch you so bad in your face, but your not worth going to jail for” …….and how i better “f@#^” him to prove that i wasn’t “f-ing” someone else.
We sobbed together……………….forever!!! I pulled myself together and asked her if i had EVER BROKE A PROMISE TO HER. She said “NO”. I reassured her to be patient with me……that i was trying my best to make changes. When we got home i told her to climb in bed with me…..and when she fell asleep………….i just cried uncontrollably
WHEN WILL THIS ALL END???????????????????????????????????? jrn
“you don’t have to go mom”
Justine kept trying to convince me that it wasn’t a big deal if i didn’t come to her band competition. And when the alarm went off at 4:00am…..after only getting two hours of sleep, i honestly contemplated NOT going. But i dragged myself out of bed…..woke her up and drove her to school. They were the first school to preform…..and while they were waiting for their results they had time to visit concessions. I sat on the other side of the cafeteria…thinking she wanted to hang with her friends. When she walked in she left her friends and came and sat with me. She asked me what i thought of their performance…..i told her they were amazing. Surprisingly she sat with me the whole time……..i told her i was surprised she wanted to sit with me rather than her friends…….she said ”Why?…..i have a “cool” mom!!” MADE MY DAY!!!!! We then made our way back to the auditorium to listen to other bands……the director instructed them to sit together as a band. Sitting six rows in front of me Justine twisted and turned her head looking around to see if i was still there. As i sat there listening to the various fight songs…and band melodies, my mind began to reminisce back to when i was on the court or field cheering while the band played. I remember looking in the stands….and my parents were never there. i would smile and chant like it never bothered me. I know i wasn’t the captain of the football or basketball team….but i was captain of my squad……and it would have MADE MY DAY if they would have come to just one performance. Just one half time dance!!!!! At that moment i was sooo glad i decided to come…….because no matter how hard Justine tried to convince me it was no big deal…….i know my presence MADE HER DAY!!!
jrn
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity
The optimist sees OPPORTUNITY in every difficulty
Winston Churchill
I AM A OPTIMIST AGAIN……I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!! jrn
The young are not afraid to tell the truth - Eleanor Roosevelt
I was taking a LONGER than normal shower…..when Jenna came in and said “Mommy your taking a long shower……aren’t you done?” I told her i was done, but was just letting the water run because it felt good. She then proceeded to tell me how she had learned in school NOT to be wasteful. NOT to waste food….because some people didn’t have food. NOT to waste water….because some had to bathe in the water that they drank. NOT to waste paper….because we were losing our trees because paper is made from trees. I SHUT THE WATER OFF…… got out and told her she was right.
So here i sit reflecting………. not able to shake her voice…….. telling me “NOT to be wasteful”. I guess because i know there are areas in my life where I’m Wasteful. I’ve been wasting ALLOT of time and energy in my thoughts and emotions…..and getting nothing or misery in return. I HAVE TO STOP!!! Its effecting my grades….i can’t concentrate on the things im usually EXTREMELY FOCUSED ON! I’m allowing my thoughts and emotions to control my life………STOP ALREADY. NO MORE WASTING TIME AND ENERGY ON THINGS THAT HAVE “NO RETURN”. JRN
I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
Achievers do what they must..in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles, danger, and pressures. John F Kennedy
If you settle for less than your tue potential eventually it will become compromise and habit……and FAILURE could be your destiny
ACHIEVERS are constantly demanding more from themselves, compared with what the mass majority of people are accepting for themselves. Because achievers set a high expectation for themselves they understand that sacrifices will be necessary for a time in order to achieve what they want.
